My Tattoos and Their Meanings

I love nature and simple line art. At least for the moment, I want my tattoos to be follow that scheme.

They will serve as an expression of me, a display of my edge, and a commitment to not fearing life anymore.

I will do as I please within the confines of morality, and I will be unashamed to express myself and my desires.

I will not live afraid of being different.

9 March 2023 - Possum (Rascal)

• Left Forearm
• by Axel Rivera at Ink Coutore Tattoos: $220

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This is the most “me” tattoo that I could have gotten for my first. The tattoo is fairly blatant, being on my forearm, and the image resembles a Tom Sawyer-inspired possum laying down while wearing overalls, a straw hat, and with a piece of straw in his mouth. He wears a slight smirk, showing an inner mischievousness.

So far as a symbol, the possum has always reminded me of home, even though they live all over the Eastern (and other parts) of the United States. I have fond memories of catching a couple of possums as a kid, my dad telling me stories about him doing the same, and even my crazy dad sending my best friend a printed picture of a possum (dead and swarming with flies) since is from Hawaii (and hence has not seen a possum).

The Tom Sawyer theme comes from the great American novel of the same name, and a story that also reminds me a lot of home as well. A lot of silly, trouble-making in nature, in the South, and in what seems like a different time and place outside of the world.

The artist Axel graciously helped clean up my ugly sketch, but he also kept it fairly true to form. I did not want a “nice” or aesthetic tattoo; I wanted something for me. Being a hybrid piece of art of myself and the artist, I posit this serves as a great symbol of myself: rough around the edges, simple, backwoods [sometimes], yet loyal, present, fun, and caring.

Rascal represents my childhood and my roots – where I have come from, so that I can see where I am now. Being my first tattoo ever and getting it shortly after separating from my exwife, Rascal is a reminder of my own agency, independence, and redneck/white trash roots. Although I do not care to ever return home, I have known and felt that my roots will never leave me. They are a part of me as much as my accent, my way of thinking, and my life. Rascal is always there for me because I am always there [and here] for myself even when others falter.

25 March 2023 - Esoteric, Medieval Sun Face

• Left Calf (Backside)
• by Chris Moguai at Rings of Fire Tattoos: $305

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This tattoo is more of an aesthetic piece as well as a promise fulfilled. My exwife had gotten a crescent moon tattooed on her ring finger as a wedding band when we were initially married. Being in the military at the time, I could not get a finger tattoo. Later the military rules were loosened, but they only permitted a band. I had promised her that I would get a sun to complement her moon since she was dissatisfied with a simple band tattoo. I have many memories of her being dissatisfied with what I could give, and me feeling inadequate, though now I own that burden to carry and realize it is not her fault. She always told me I was her moon – something [someone] that was always there for her when she looked up at the night sky. She thought of me when she saw the moon.

Ironically, I no longer think of myself as her moon, but she is the moon. The moon or lunar symbols are a classic, feminine symbol (of goddesses) typically of the underworld, fertility, temptation, and emotionality. Given the issues that my exwife and I have had, I believe she is absolutely a moon and a lunar figure. Therefore, the tattoo of her finger is a idol to herself and vices that have plagued her [and us].

The sun or solar symbols are a classic, masculine symbol (of gods) typically of life force and truth. I see the sun as my symbol for my search of truth (through the dark, light will find the way) and as a brightening of my own energy and heart. The sun is always looking out for me and protects my rear (or my blindspot) where I cannot see. I think of the sun as a guardian for my weaknesses – a worthy ally even though I am very sensitive to its fierce rays of sunlight. I no longer view the sun adversarially – not something to fight against but to embrace.

Given the irony of her tattoo, although I promised a sun on my ring finger to her, I now have a sun on me for myself. The tattoo also does implicitly signal the end of the tumultuous relationship that we have lived. The sun protects my backside while also being on my back or behind me – signalling the end of the relationship in the past.

9 April 2023 - “TOO MUCH”

• Above Knees
• by Kelly Edwards at Eternal Courage Tattoos: $187.50

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Americana-like Font: “TOO MUCH” is a larger size, capitalized, and on the front of my body above my knees

For much of my life, I have allowed others and myself to tell me that I am either “TOO MUCH” or “not enough”. This is somewhat akin to the Lil Peep “Crybaby” tattoo because I want to be open, blatant with my acceptance of these insecurities. I have allowed them to rule and command me for far too long – and they will still likely haunt me for my whole life. However, I will not run or be embarrassed by them any more. I will own these feelings to better conquer them in the long term. I will carry them with me everywhere that I go, but I will win while doing so.

From a simple standpoint, this tattoo is also aesthetic when wearing shorts as well. This tattoo serves as a message to others and myself.

7 May 2023 - Death walking towards drinking Skeleton

• Both Pecs
• by Sarah at Into the Void Tattoos: $440

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I have always had a morbid interest and appreciation of death and darkness. This is a contrast to the usual Western aversion to and fear of death. I love and appreciate that other cultures, especially the Mexican, Latin American, and Mesoamerican (e.g. Aztec) cultures, celebrate and remember death in a positive manner.

I believe that death is the greatest gift that everyone, without exception, receives. In death, everyone gets the same fate in their life ending and all their work and actions being complete and final. Although some religions believe that there are various judgements (whether rewards or punishments) one will receive for the actions of one’s life, I believe that the individual ceases to exist – and nothing further. All mistakes, crimes, transgressions, actions, good deeds, etc. are meaningless and are “forgiven” in the sense that one does not carry those with oneself. Death is the great equalizer of us all. In death, we receive the greatest peace that we will have since life is an eternal struggle.

Death (grim reaper/Santa Muerte) is on my right pec wearing a cloak and carrying a globe and scythe that has blood dripping off. Death is walking towards a skeleton that is lounging while drinking and celebrating. This scene paints a beautiful image of the everpresent and continuing fact of Death carrying on her mission, and reminder that I want to appreciate and celebrate life while I can.

Santa Muerte is an unofficial, controversial saint or occult symbol (depending on the person) that helps safeguard passage into the afterlife. She often is a saint for those on the outliers of society: poor, gay, Mexican cartel, etc. She protects all who ask for her help.

28 May 2023 - The Dark Mark and Deathly Hollows Symbols

• Right Forearm
• by Malekai (boyfriend of Sarah: tattoo #4) at Doomsday Tattoo: $300

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I have always loved the Harry Potter series since childhood, and this serves as a great homage to that. Those books and films always bring me great joy and encapsulate a lot of my thematic interests really well: life, death, darkness, friends, choices, fantasy, magic, struggle. This is the only series that I have read and watched multiple times – I typically do not reread or rewatch art. I enjoy great, emotional feelings of nostalgia when I think of series in regards to my own life. The film series was also one of the few things that my parents and I bonded over by watching and enjoying them together. The books also helped inspire me to enjoy reading as young child.

The Dark Mark is basically a Slytherin-only symbol since only[?] Slytherins have been the one to support Voldemort and get the tattoo. My house is Slytherin, its mascot is the serpent, and I believe that it represents me well. I have taken the quiz numerous times and always get Slytherin. Of note, Slytherins have the following traits: cunning, ambition, resourcefulness, determination, pride, and self-preservation – all themes that I want to cultivate. Slytherins have a reputation for darkness and dark wizards – I take that as a sign of my “bad boy” side that I am experimenting with.

J. K. Rowling explained that a big theme of the series is that morality and goodness are choice, regardless of circumstance. I believe this very much to be the case, which contrasts with the idea of being good or bad is something one is born into. I do not believe people to be born one way or another, but rather that their choices make them into who they are: good or bad.

I also just very much love skulls and snakes – to me the art is very dark and beautiful.

8 July 2023 - Quetzalcoatl in feathered serpent form

• Front, right side of stomach
• original drawing by Josh Perry & tattoo by Josh Standley at Element Tattoo: $320

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The feathered serpent has many meanings, but in short: wisdom, learning, sun, god. The tattoo shows my love of Aztec and Mexican culture, originally initiated by Age of Empires II but now bolstered through my practice of the Spanish language. Quetzacoatl in this form and on my right (future) side gives promise of my Spanish speaking and living ambitions. I hope through this journey to find the wisdom that I so desperately desire.

An odd coincidence, I visited Mission San Jose and walked around the grounds. The mission was one of a few here in San Antonio that served as the northernmost missions of the Spanish border and frontier. While walking through the parking lot, a small whirlwind ran through me. Quetzalcoatl often times took form in the wind and whirlwinds.

16 August 2023 - Nopal + Lil Peep Ghostboy

• Left Forearm + Right Leg
• by Joaquin Benites: $300

Chapters of Life:

• The Nopal (prickly pear cactus): Texas

13 September 2023 - “TODO BIEN”

• Fingers on Both Hands
• by Silvana Giron: $136.02

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More of a YOLO and a desire to break the ice on my first tattoo in Mexico, this tattoo makes a very visible statement. The statement is very simple and sweet: TODO BIEN or all is well. A simple allegory of me where I might (and want) to appear a bit abrasive and rough whereas I can be a bit too sweet or cute sometimes.

14 December 2023 - Japanese ramen

• Left thigh, outer side
• by Nate Hanes at Element Tattoo: $230

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This one is a bit complicated. Although the tattoo itself seems straightforward, I have various reasons for getting it. A reason is a bit jokingly: a dedicated to my best friends, who nearly all of them at this point are of some sort of Asian decent. Another reason was a previous girlfriend, who I dearly appreciated for our short, sweet time together. Finally, one of my best friends (Asian of course) wanted to get tattoos together for his first one, so I had to pick something… I had already been mulling this idea around in my head.

8 January 2024 - “NO MAMES”

• Right foot
• by XXX at The House

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A pure YOLO with a friend, who has the same tattoo on his butt (in my handwriting).

21 February 2024 - Silhouette of female form

• Left Bicep
• by Alfonso Gutiérrez at The House

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My friend’s first tattoo as an aspiring tattoo artist. This has no deeper meaning behind it, but I thought it was a cool design. He completed it in white because it was very much an experiment, and we both were unsure of the final result. Needless to say, I am glad it is in white.

1 June 2024 - “NOT ENOUGH”

• Above Back of Knees
• by Alfonso Gutiérrez at Frontera Ink

My first tattoo completed by my friend as a birthday present. Over a year ago (April 2023), I had gotten “TOO MUCH” on the front and had planned to get “NOT ENOUGH” due to my feelings and emotions at the time. A better description is in that entry. I finally got them completed, and my friend, an aspiring tattoo artist in training, was able to leave with a cool memory since getting free, good tattoos is not easy.

Tentative

These are ideas and not indicative of any hard plans.

XX XXX XXXX - “KYLE”

• Stomach

Kyle is my middle name. Previously, it was only ever used by my parents when I was in trouble. Now, I embrace the troublesome and devious memory of Kyle (which has coincidentally become a meme). My old name is the adolescent, people-pleasing past, and Kyle is my future badass. Kyle does not give a shit what other people think or wants; I act for myself. Yes, of course I am badass ;)

XX XXX XXXX - Harry Potter theme

• Right arm sleeve

Ambition * Cunning * Leadership

Mix of realistic and abstract/hexagonal

The magic collision b/t Harry and Voldemort as a bisecting lightning bolt running down my arm to serve as a timeline of this progression

Bar Ring where the collision happens ^^^

The wizard and the child Castle silhouette

Divided arm into 7 sections for each book… tel story of the boy becoming the man. Have the wise wizard face (think Greek god tattoos) overlooking or on upper arm/side delt

Stone

Basilisk

Dementors Stag patronus Sirius + griffin into the full moon

Goblet

Order of the Phoenix

Pensieve

Hallows

Giant (Hagrid) on motorcycle