Another Crazy Week Of Ups And Downs
3 minute read
Another great week of living in the twilight zone down here.
- I’ve slipped into another insomnia cycle… waking up at odd hours.
- Last night I have a nightmare that a pitbull attacked me again like last summer except I was paralyzed during the dream.
- Allergies kicked my ass this week.
- Had another soft dick cycle – been feeling close to 0% libido.
- 1 year ago exactly today, my ex and I had a big argument ending with my shit getting slung out the front door, and me moving out permanently.
Reframe
None of that is bad.
- I just have to pace myself more when my insomnia wears me out and being sick from allergies.
- I can’t do much about the nightmare, and at this point, it’s kinda cool I guess.
- Took some meds for allergies and skipped one class because I felt bad (but it was nice to skip).
- Went on a 7hr date yesterday and today (different date rescheduled to tomorrow) with the chick from my party. She was super cool about the whole thing, we talked a lot, I was vulnerable about not feeling too sexual lately and feeling confused after our night together. She said we can just cuddle and take it easy. We walked around, held hands, kissed a lot, and watched the sunset together. She’s the kind of girl that I really enjoy my time with, and seems like she could disappear at any moment (even though she swears she wouldn’t ghost me). This feels like the most commitless “situation” I’ve ever been in, and it’s just perfect for where I’m at.
- Although traumatic at the time, my separation/divorce continues to bless me with a wonderful new life that I would otherwise have not had. I’m starting to be happy to having gone through it (and forgetting mostly the pain that I felt at the time). A new good female friend of mine down here had her birthday ironically today. I bought her flowers and wrote her card… she was key in me and my exGF getting together and just having a solid female friend that is always interested in my life, dates, sex experiences, and other oddities that I’m into.
Where I’m At Now
- I’m feeling that “lost” sensation again, and it impacted me a bit this week, but I am handling it well.
- Asked some friends and my new ladyfriend about my ED problems… honestly it’s probably a mix of me not being ready and all the other shit this week. I was really upset yesterday about it, but it’s not bothering me much today after talking it out with a bunch of friends. It’s nice to hear that my IRL friends have similar experiences and it’s “normal” to an extent
- Had a brodate this week with a good friend and we went to my dance (cumbia) class together. Best dance class so far.
- I have a tour tomorrow, partying with some friends, and date.
- Sunday a different friend wants me to help teach him learn the dark arts of getting laid.
Another solid and beautiful week.