Working Thru Emotions And Sorta Getting Back Out There
3 minute read
Date?
What’s up folks. Starting back to school this week has a been a mix of emotion. I went on a “date?” with a chick I met in Guatemala. Not someone I’m attracted to, but she’s a smart, nerdy successful type and honestly I could use more local friends (not foreigners). I framed it as a sort of practice getting back “out there”.
Ex-GF
I sort of dislike saying “ex-GF” even though descriptively it’s accurate. “Ex-GF” always sounds negative to me, but that was not my experience at all.
I cried for 30mins before I went to bed a few nights ago thinking about my ex-GF. Nothing bad at all – I let myself really feel my emotions and I cried through them. Yesterday, I started crying walking to school since I passed by her old place where we’d meet each other every morning. I told a best friend this back in the US and told my amiga here (who was a mutual friend of my ex-GF and I). I journaled about it.
Bottom line: this was the first healthy relationship that I’ve had, it ended well, I’m allowing myself to feel the emotions, I told my friends, and my God was it a beautiful thing to have experienced. Feeling the sadness isn’t fun per se, but I really feel that I’ve grown from the experience – I’m blessed.
Amiga & other fresh Korean that only speaks Chinese and Korean (in Mexico) Speaking of my amiga, we talked a little bit over relationships. She’s very sweet, funny, and kind, but she is pretty guarded. I think I want to dig a little more and be a deeper friend than just the kinda shallow friends we are now. I forget how guarded Asians can be culturally (and both of us speaking in Spanish doesn’t make it easy).
That said, even though I swore off foreigners, of course the Lord sends a fresh new face of some insanely cute 22yo Korean. She speaks no English nor Spanish – I think God is sending me his toughest battles because this is insane. Anyways, my amiga noticed my interested, and she sort of “winged” for me today while I flirted through eye contact and very shitty broken English, Spanish, and some Google Translate (in Korean). We called each other cute and she gave me some random drawing… It was fun but ultimately a waste of time – I’m not here for Koreans.
I’m going to a Korean church with both of them Sunday where I’m apparently a local celebrity because of my ex-GF. Everyone know me as Post Malone because I’m the white guy will all the tattoos…