Im Always Confused And Thats Not Really A Bad Thing

Another wonderful week here in beautiful Mexico City. I am doing great and simultaneously feeling scatterbrained – this tends to happen when I get overly excited and commit to too many things. I had an [obvious] realization that I am happy and stable mentally – BUT, when I abuse my sleep schedule, I put myself in bad mental states. This is to note that my “rough days” are only rough because I did not sleep well – not because I’m chronically sad, depressed, or whatever else. So once again, sleep is my most important thing. Unfortunately, Mexican Independence Day is this week, so I’m mulling over how to balance taking part in the most important holiday here while also not staying out late.

Next Mission: consider taking a break here and re-establish next goals/steps I might be gone a day or for a while. I need some time to re-calibrate

Actions

remember that all my social interactions (e.g. dates) are completely in Spanish

  • Exercised more – went on a run, did more calisthenics at home and calisthenics park, hiked up a mountain – going to run again here shortly
  • Woke up at same time ish this week (~0630) – very important for an insomniac
  • Completed all my Spanish homework, talked to many strangers in Spanish, took a trip with other foreigners to the city of Tepoztlán

I’m super proud of myself for being able to communicate my feelings and relationship desires in Spanish AND be understand. I also really appreciate my dates here being so awesome and patient with me.

  • Had a 4th date with same girl. She had been sending me a lot of hearts and making very “love”-related comments, so I felt that I needed to be open and honest about liking her but that I’m only doing open relationships. She took it very well and responded to make sure we practice safe sex… next date scheduled :)
  • New date with another girl went well… she lives very far away but she might become a regular. I also told her the same above ^ that I only doing open relationships
  • Both chicks definitely have a fetish with my skin color… doesn’t bother me but an interesting thing to note. Both also have said something along the lines of “I’m not like the other gringos since I’m integrating well” or “Do all gringos fuck as good as you?” LOL. Kinda sounds like some strange, throwaway comments with how corny they come out, but I won’t overthink em too much. Likely also because my Spanish is only intermediate and I’m still working on picking up communication beyond the words.

Reflection on Marriage Thoughts from Previous Post

I have a hard time reminding myself that I have a whole life ahead of me at 29 years old (when sometimes I feel very late to things). I had a positive dream about my exwife a couple of nights ago that was really pleasant even though we don’t talk at all now. I am still living in a confusing stage of my life albeit a fucking awesome stage with all my new change. I’ve been sharing that I was previously married on all my dates in a positive way, and the women have appreciated it. I can tell the experience has made me a better man even though it was terrible at times.