Divorced Settling In Becoming A Heartbreaker

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Solid week. Much energy and motion. Many new people and experiences. Not much rest. A lot of growth.

Next Mission: Persevere and get myself on a kinder schedule; Figure out how to communicate relationship expectations better/more upfront (in Spanish)

Actions/Accomplishments

  • #1: OFFICIALLY DIVORCED – I got the email notice… just waiting for the official documents to be sent to me
  • Talking/interacting ~90% of the time in Spanish
  • Completed all homework and presentations in my classes
  • Became the class leader in Salsa (sorta teacher’s pet too)
  • Went on 5 different dates (all in Spanish) and saw many cool different parts of the city
  • My best friend and I still doing weekly/dailyish accountability calls/chats to keep each other improving
  • Haven’t returned to working out yet, but I walk a lot and continue leaning out… getting veins in random places that I’ve never had before like thighs and Adonis belt region

Reflections

I broke these into their own section since I had some big life realizations, so I can highlight them better.

Divorce

I’ll keep this one shortish. I know that I’m not the only divorced dude here, but I’m likely the most recent. I still believe in love, relationships, and intimacy. I don’t have hatred towards women. Sometimes, I am still angry at my ex, but I wish her a good life. I hope that we all here find the love and relationship that we desire.

For anyone here considering marriage, make sure you’re ready for the positive and negative aspects that it will provide. Most dudes here are on some self-improvement and success train. Know that a divorce (which is more probable than not – you are not special) will damage your mental/physical health, finances, stability, business, and many other things. Again, even with prenups, divorcing “amicably” (like I did), verbal agreements – all that can go out the window when the relationship implodes. If success is important to you, then a legal marriage is probably not the answer for you. This is just my opinion, but I’ll happily tell you that you’re an idiot if you believe otherwise… of course I need more time to heal.

Heartbreaker

Onto a lighter subject, I have many options down here in Mexico. Quality is a mix, but I have been going on dates for many reasons – mostly cultural/language exchange and seeing more of the city. I have enjoyed them a lot, but they are tiring (good problem to have).

This is likely due to a difference in culture and me being the exotic gringo, but these women WANT me. They double text me, tell me how much they want me, how much of a good time they had (I only had sex with 1 and not the rest), … and I feel like I’m on the woman’s side of the dating apps. In barely 2 weeks here and only on Tinder, I have over 50+ matches, 10 I haven’t even messaged, and not enough time in the day to manage all this. I feel like it’s partly genuine, but I’m also not so naive to think there couldn’t be manipulative reasons for this behavior (e.g. baby trapping me or something).

I stop messaging girls that try to “lead me” (one would not follow my instructions to message me) or act non-compliant in general. I had one woman aggressively kiss me after I said bye and walked away. Another is telling me how much she likes me and sending me a bunch of hearts (no “I love you” but she called me “mi amor”).

Anyway, point being is that I am going to revamp my profile and responses to lessen whatever this is.