Taking The Good With The Bad
4 minute read
I really have nothing to complain about. I have had a wavering bad mood beset by insomnia since last week, but I’ve done well to manage it. Just one of those bad moods where you drink, smoke, eat, and journal all while singing loudly to emo music until 2am. I am blessed to have wonderful friends to let me vent while I’m in these bad moods. I also realize that it’s not the best way to go about it, but it’s a pretty cathartic way for me to experience and manage my feelings – it works.
WINS
- First time bartending all by myself yesterday – luckily a slow day, but I felt like I “owned” the bar. Had some great customers that I talked and opened up with (people love hearing my life story and are always so appreciative about it)
- Solid dates last week… one of them will probably turn into a solid FWB… still a little hung up on my petite emo Latina, but I’ll keep her warm and see if I can get another date
- I had my 4th dating app match today that called me “handsome”… again small victories and validation. Super appreciative. I have a date with her tomorrow. Same chick also complimented my vibe over text (again, like the millionth woman to tell me that I have a good vibe – THIS is great). I’ve never been complimented on my vibe and appearance so much before in my life <– MINDSET CULTIVATED
- Rest week from my workouts. I ran/walked 8+ miles today, but I’m resting from my gymastics-ish stuff. I can definitely tell my joints need a break from those
- Even with all my bad sleep, eating, drinking/smoking, etc… I lost a couple of pounds and look even more shredded than normal. I do feel a bit “small” these days, but TBH I get way more positive attention, so I don’t care as much… If a 5'5" ghost white, bald dude can slay then you can too
Dating Apps Insights
For my location, I have Bumble Premium and Tinder Platinum with the free versions of Hinge and Facebook Dating. I have noticed some initial observations…
- Bumble Spotlight (equivalent to a Tinder Boost) was worthless… I got 0 matches. Maybe I’ll some later… Bumble seems to have dried up for me
- Tinder Platinum + Boosts on a Monday morning (11am) got me a lot of matches! I have a few dates in the works, one chick into BDSM, and some eager, open-minded chicks
- My location does well with early in the week (say Monday or Tuesday) morning matches and convos. Most of my dates tend to come from this timeframe and end up being next day. Any matches over the weekend usually don’t turn into anything. Interesting correlation
- Hinge and Facebook Dating are borderline worthless… I’ll keep working with them, but I haven’t gotten much from them other than flakes and a catfish
Archetypes Insights
I have noticed some trends of my matches and their archetypes so far. Note that I live in a predominantly Hispanic city (2/3 population). Although race isn’t a big factor to me, I have especially observed some interesting trends in it that I think play into my appearance/archetype.
- I match with white women the most. I typically am not really attracted to white women, but these tend to be the alt/emo or hippie types, which I do find more attractive
- The Latinas that I do match with are usually edgier, tattoo/pierced types that tend to be kinky. I have one now that I’m setting up a date to vibe and talk about BDSM. Kinda wished I could figure out how to be more attractive to Latinas since they will be 2/3 of my dating pool here LOL
- I get some black women matches (usually more alt types), but they have never panned out
- I have gotten 1 Asian woman match… and she later unmatched me. TBH, I think Asian women are cute, but most tend to be way too prudish and boring for my tastes (at least here)
- Most of the women don’t seem to be super DTF, but are also generally open to sex. They find me attractive – a few call me “sexy”, “hot”, and “handsome” without me pre-empting them with compliments at all. This is a good middle ground that I’m happy to work for the time being