Positive Momentum
5 minute read
Lately, I have felt pretty damn good. Although I wake up most mornings tired, sore, or sometimes in a bad mood, I have been able to self-sooth myself out of a lot of this negativity. Life is starting to feel like my momentum is going in a positive direction (and has been for most of the month of May). My friend said something illuminating today that: “I am incredibly lucky in the opportunities that arise”, which is true. But I will say that I have been practicing gratitude and spinning things as positively as possible. Even the negatives become positive. I feel it first, but then I can change that.
WINS
- I had a hard flake/ghost for a date last Friday. Although I was initially really upset, I turned it into a positive. It wasn’t the healthiest way to go about it, but I ate all the snacks that I got for the date, drank a couple of beers, smoked a little, and [later] fapped before bedtime. An old roommate of mine happened to call me out of the blue shortly into the flake window, so I had a good time talking to him. He thought of me, and it seemed almost very coincidental that he called when I needed someone to talk to in that moment. Super lucky… ended up being a relaxing Friday. The chick later said family emergency happened, but then flaked hard again, so I just moved on. A shame, she seem really interested and was just my type. Oh well, onto the next
- Bartended quite a bit… still loving this. They really fucked up the schedule this week, so I don’t quite know when I’ll bartend again. New management, so it’s always a mess
- Starting back to my old computer job as well
- Hung out with a new friend yesterday and today. Sounds a bit odd, but he and I got out of our relationships around the same time this year and met each other shortly after. We’ve hung out a bit, had good times, and supported each other through the dating game. He had his first lay out of his previous relationship, so I was super stoked for him (and it might turn into an ongoing thing). I always say: “When one of the boys win, we all win”. Again, sounds a little silly, but I’m happy for him
- I have finally achieved Basic Bitch level and got my Harry Potter tattoo that I wanted… I love it and have more tats in the works. Might get some more ear piercings, but I’m really trying to convince myself to stop with the piercings, so I don’t overdo it
- Got a couple of dates scheduled and more in the works. Super excited about these too
SOME REFLECTIONS
- I’ve been going out less lately… mostly due to bartending schedule and just not wanting to “party” as much anymore. Honestly, this has been a nice break. Me and my friends have been doing less wilder things like brodates, getting coffee, chilling in hammocks at the park, rock climbing, etc. and I really enjoy them more than staying out late, getting drunk, and not getting a lay LOL
- Regarding Archetypes: going on a few dates and doing the dating app swiping hell, I have noticed my “types” that I like (I also hate “types” because I really will like anyone that is enjoyable to be around. My friends especially don’t cater to any of my “types”, so I don’t tend to lock into those). That being said, I tend to attract: emo/alt/goth, thicc Latinas, and open-minded/free-spirit hippie types. Although there’s a few more types that I could hope to attract, I’ve been pretty happy with the ones that I naturally “vibe” with. It’s been good to realize that not every woman I like has to work, but that there are always ones that feel very natural to be around and talk with.
- I’ve been hanging out with this new friend a lot. He’s super supportive, and it’s been really sick to have a good IRL friend (most of mine have been military, so I’ve been rebuilding my friend circle since they’ve left). I just really appreciate my “luck” in finding and making all these solid friends
UPDATED: Additional Reflection
- Idk if this is common knowledge somewhere that I haven’t read, but my dating app experience has felt very localized. I live in a big city (liberalish but not very compared to NYC or LA) in the US, but for me the apps get radio silent on the weekends. Here, I think the girls are partying some sure but also just hanging out with friends and family or traveling. I got no good matches from boosting over the weekend, but here I am Monday and have 2 dates scheduled and 2 more in the works (all from Monday). Anyways, maybe a little protip for others who have a different experience. Think about the types of girls you match and also their routine/schedule. Will update more later if the dates follow thru.
UPDATED AGAIN: Another Reflection
- I had mentioned quite a while ago about receiving more female attention from real life. I hadn’t noted the attention that I’ve gotten on the dating apps. And not just likes or whatever, but having matches initiate calling me “handsome” (I don’t think any woman outside of my mom has ever called me that). Although we all know the dating apps are fucked, it has been really nice. Really VALIDATING as the ladies would say to receive such positive, kind attention. And it going “female -> male” direction for the attention, I know that it’s more honest and authentic (vs. a dude telling a chick she looks good). Pretty nice… the date on Wednesday is with one calling me “handsome” and “sexy”, so it has good potential. Here’s to no expectations but also hoping for another W.