Another Insomnia Night
2 minute read
I’m currently having another night of insomnia. On the one hand, I feel confused. I slept from 12am-3am and was unable to go back to sleep after that. I read, went on walk, and all that to no avail. I haven’t had caffeine in days, so I know it’s not that.
On the other hand, I think that I am just extremely sensitive to things. I’ve been following some wellness advice – especially getting morning sunlight. I almost always do a 1 mile walk every morning, but I’ve made it a point to do it as soon as I wake up to get sun exposure. I am incredibly active (yesterday was another 10 mi walk/run day + calisthenics). My diet is a mix of good and bad – I think diet and my anxiety about some life stuff is my problem.
And my anxiety comes from me not acting… but waiting for others to act. Sometimes, you can let things handle themselves, but unfortunately, this circumstance is not one of those I am coming to learn. I do not want to act – and in doing so, I am not sleeping. Acting will cause me great stress, but I will be more prideful of myself (for taking care of myself over people pleasing or submitting) – and hopefully at greater peace.
I think this is the right decision.
EDIT: Addendum: I won’t let insomnia hurt me
WINS:
- Read a lot
- Practiced guitar a lot – really getting better and feeling it finally
- Sent some chats
- Went on middle of the night walk – only saw some drunk bum burping, but otherwise, a peaceful 3:30am walk
- Snagged a quick 20 min nap
- Journaled
- Going to guitar lesson soon – dripped out to feel good and will walk about 4mi round trip to get my steps in
- Regular computer work later to churn some hours
Although insomnia is suboptimal, I ain’t letting it stop me. I’m gonna kill today. I will keep at it until I drop.
Cultivate the mindset. Sharpen the body. Take a moment of rest when necessary but don’t stop.