Digging Myself Out Of The Hole

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  2 minute read  

Goal: Less words equals greater action

These past few days have been a little different. I am still trending towards a positive direction, but I have dug into the lows more when I feel them. For me, digging into them is: being very active (to soften some of the negative feelings and clear my mind) such as 8.5 mile bike ride and 5 mile run yesterday; journaling/write whatever I feel without an end-goal or template; and practicing meditation.

Per a recommendation, I tried the Loving-Kindness meditation (unsure if this is the right one, but it’s great). This meditation basically works by feeling love from someone/anyone and giving that feeling to someone else. You act as an intermediary for love and kindness while also giving it away. I cried on my second practice from feeling the positive, loving memories of an old high school girlfriend and giving those to a new friend that needs them after going through a bad breakup. I feel much better today.

With that in mind, I dug myself out of the hole. Today is another a day of action and a big week ahead.

WINS:

  • New guitar coming in for better practice… slowly learning my cheap, pawn shop ones sound bad or are damaged and have affected my practice and growth
  • Biked/ran so much yesterday my legs cramped up… although painful, I love the raw feeling of pushing my body [without injury]
  • Studying fine wines for new bartending job starting this week
  • Read/studied a photography book to understand photography concepts to apply to my stuff
  • Sleep has been better – I have set harder boundaries for myself and friends to not stay out so late (and feel like shit afterwards)
  • While biking around, I took pictures of some street art… will edit and post those to my Insta later
  • Even though I felt like shit yesterday, I went to salsa last night for another lesson. Last night was an intermediate lesson, and I did TERRIBLE. I felt low after that, but that motivated me to go to the weekly Thursday lessons… the studio really encouraged me to come (too many follows/girls not enough leads/dudes)
  • Giving myself my Sunday to prep for my week and rest… turning down hanging out with friends to prioritize myself