Out With The Old In With The Great
7 minute read
The title is maybe more serious sounding that this post will be – I have had a wonderful couple of days.
- My mood is a lot better than the last couple of months. I have felt more confident, masculine, and virile recently than I have in a while.
- I have been working more now, and I applied to 8 bartending jobs (service industry jobs are like women – it’s a numbers game) near my place. I do not need the money, but I want to be more of a part of my local downtown, and bartending is a great way to do that. I have about 12 more places that I will apply to tomorrow; my old bartending job is too far for me to reasonably work without efficient transportation.
- I bought some more lifestyle stuff – more camera equipment, parallettes for my handstands, etc.
- My workouts are killer. I can do hold handstands for a few seconds now – parallettes will help with strength and not wearing out my wrists.
- According to my smartwatch, I walked and ran a total of 11.4 miles today. My daily average of walking/running is 6-8 miles… I cannot keep weight on me (a good thing for now – I have a little pudge left to lose).
Cultivating the Creative:
This will tie a lot into my archetypes that I want to cultivate for myself and for the women that I want to attract. I also believe that I can branch outside of the archetype, but it gives a good starting point and comfort zone of where I can be in life or a scene. And of course, I really love these creative endeavors.
- My guitar technique and lessons are improving. I am slowly unfucking my bad habits… one day I will shred or least play some of my own songs.
- My dancing is way better… some of the girls that I danced with today complimented me, and I confidently led the novice ones that I danced with. Nothing feels more masculine than leading a nervous girl in some sort of dance as the lead <– highly recommend to take some swing/blues/salsa/bachata classes if you can. I plan to take more classes to keep getting good and meeting more women. THERE ARE SO MANY CUTE GIRLS at these dancing events and usually very few guys. At the least, fun time dancing and having a physical touch and connection with another person. I have also made 3 new friends from dancing alone and got invited to a bar crawl this weekend by one.
- I enjoy photography with my camera. I just need to learn the settings better and figure out how to turn of the stupid autofocus (I had it off and somehow turned it back on).
- My style of clothing and accessories along with piercings and tattoos is enjoyable for the first time in my life. People also very much treat me more positively for it. In a small sense, I always feel much more confident knowing that I look better than I did <– I made a timeline of my “fashion” and looks over my whole lifetime… suffice to say I can only go up from here. I have nice, new clothes for the first time in my life that are not free or secondhand from someone else.
- I should consider my journaling a creative, contemplative hobby of sorts. I write a lot (here, paper notebooks, Google Notes), and I really enjoy the hell out of it. I have always had “racing thoughts” in my head, but I have found age (or maybe just being less energetic) and journaling to help with that.
Emo Night: Checking out the Talent
I went out to my local emo night with my boys to scope out my demographic – there are plenty of cute emo/alt girls here, and I seem to do well with talking with them at the least. I got an Instagram for some short, crazy chick, so we will see where that goes <– I have it in my head to get her number on next message, so I do not get trapped in IG purgatory. Me and my boys had a great time – I have not had a “boys night” out in a while that was actually fun. I look forward to more, and we even got a free, professional photo from it.
As a small note of celebration, every time I go out I always get at least 1 phone number (or the last couple have been Instagrams). I want to give myself some praise that I am doing pretty good with talking to girls and getting their contact info. I definitely need to increase my numbers, so I plan to synergize with dating apps in the near future as well (once I get some good pictures). For the time being, I am proud of myself for not being afraid to comment on random girls’ looks, nails, style, demeanor, energy, etc. as a way to open up conversation. Not long ago, I would have done none of this. Most really brighten up – especially when it is something more than “ur cute” but more like “I think the flower design on your nails makes you look so cute”.
Continuing Growth:
These are not really goals but more likely daily/weekly habits that I have been incidentally building. I will keep doing these…
- probe/screen/test most girls that catch my eye instead of a few – this really helped instill this idea of screening out all interesting girls instead of getting “one-itis” on a few of them. I have made some mistakes with my encounters, but I have only improved since I started. One friend told me a chick that I talked to all night at a pub crawl was giving me “the look”, but I later told her to fuck off in a nice way when she did not text me much <– lesson learned: physical escalation is best and don’t miss the opportunity (winner’s mindset). The number is never better than making moves in the moment. I can feel my mindset shifting from scarcity to abundance; talking to a lot of cute girls has helped and continually getting numbers and shit has given me confidence that I am not hopeless. I am definitely still more on the scarcity side in actuality, but I do not feel as desperate about it as I did a month or two ago. I was also very much an emotional wreck then than I am now.
- find more friends that are flirtatious. My old friends are mostly boring, committed, or otherwise unconcerned with dating. My new friends (that I make a point to hang out with) are all into this more, so I need to leverage their experience more to help me learn. They seem pretty keen to help, so it gives me a good excuse to get that experience without going alone.
- give less fucks – I feel so unafraid of the world and my future. Coming from a small town [of a few thousand], big cities have always scared me. Now, I live very close to the downtown (within walking/biking distance) of a very large city, and I love it. Everyone is so friendly [at least to me], and I have had no issues. Even if I eventually do have issues, I will not let it shake me. I am so fucking happy to be where I am at right now. I am not done – not finished – and not perfect, but damn, I have been doing great. I also have been less afraid of asserting myself or being confident around women. Most only need that one time you check them on their shit, and their demeanor and treatment positively changes (i.e. one ordered me to “dance” at a club and I said “no, you dance” and she did; dumb yet simple, but after that she warmed up to me).