Experimenting With Archetypes And Mindsets

I have been doing some personal journaling over the last month while thinking of who I am vs. who I want to be. Reading No More Mr. Nice Guy has also supplemented my understanding of my submissive and passive tendencies that have plagued my life. I have always disliked these qualities about me and knew that people did not respect me for them. Or rather, I have allowed them to plague me to avoid conflict and present “nice” or well-behaved – a coping mechanism for my modest, redneck upbringing that I was often embarrassed about. I need to live life for myself and not for others; I want to love the badass hiding inside of me. And finally after some of my recent (though not traumatizing) experiences with women, I believe that I see a way forward for myself: being (or experimenting with) who I have always wanted to be.

The TL;DR that I got from it all – get a life and be cool. Be who I have always wanted to be but never gave myself the permission to (or to try). I have played life on safe mode… safe with school, work, relationships, appearance, friends, personality, etc. My recent pain is coming from me escaping the safety and comfort of my stable mediocrity – and thank God, it has never been a better time to feel it.


With that, I am experimenting with my newest badass archetype. I have ran away from my “white trash” roots most of my life. I have been embarrassed of my hometown, my accent, and my family. I want to cultivate those roots inside of me while synergizing them with other aspects of myself: emo/metal/tattoos/piercings/edgy. I believe the latter pairs roughly well with the standard starting advice, and I am giving myself a true chance to try it out.

Archetypes

I love metal, tattoos, piercings, edginess, and being toxic/funny/emotional. I tend to have a lot of push-pull dynamics within myself, and I feel that my outside could show that more. These examples are not endorsements of the individual or an exact template that I plan to follow – just pieces of different folks that I want to emulate while cultivating myself. I won’t even say that I am fans of theirs, but I see bits of myself in them.

Chris Heria

Calisthenics pro, tattoos/piercings, entrepreneur

Ronnie Radke

Musician/singer, tattoos/piercings, bad boy vibes, leanfit

Jelly Roll

Singer/rapper, Southern, tattoos/piercings, “white trash”

How I can become more like them:

  • More [visible] tattoos and piercings – face tattoos are off-limits indefinitely for me
  • Being well-groomed <– I am balding, so aside from a sick beardstache, my options are limited. Fucking mullet would be great
  • Becoming more lean/jacked – clean diet and weighted calisthenics
  • Cultivating the creative – music and photography
  • Well-dressed – trendy for their respective scenes (fitness, metal, rapper/redneck)
  • Unapologetic of a rough or abrasiveness appearance – still demonstrating success/wealth/value
  • Lifestyle: ??? <– this is the biggest departure of my archetypes; I want to live my own lifestyle and I do not entirely know what that will be

I think the real question is, would a true bad boy overthink all these details? Maybe and maybe not. I tend to overthink but writing out my thinking helps. Nonetheless, I will see what I can come up with in the meantime.


Feedback from a Friend

Two important points to keep in mind as you develop your archetype:

  1. Is the archetype truly an extension of who you already are?
  2. Is the archetype attracting the type of girls you want?

If you choose an archetype that is not you, meaning not an extension of your personality, you will never be able to effectively pull it off. It will seem fake and women will pick up on that. If you don’t like the type of women you are attracting, then there are things you need to change about yourself.

I did an analysis of mine earlier this year. The models I chose were just extending my personality and turning it up to 11. The style reflects the my own personality mixing together rebel, bohemian/spiritual, and professional together. I also reflected on the girls it was attracting. One cohort of girls I wanted to attract more of going forward was hot young professionals. So that means the activities and way I dress will need to reflect that depending on the occasion.


My Response

I think my biggest struggle is I do not identify with a lot of “mainstream” archetypes, and the ones that I find tend to be very polarizing or rough. I believe this is partly the “outsider” feeling a lot of us seem to have, so I want to be cautious to not get lost in that. As an example, I do not see myself in any sort of famous actor or popular figure (though I won’t pretend to know a lot). My hometown’s part of the country typically only gets negative representation and not many folks “make it”. Aside from being a clean-cut, rich Southern politician, I can’t think of an example right now.

At this point, I am working to cultivate myself while not losing my roots/past/history. I will give it more thought.

I definitely know that I am attracted to feminine women: with tattoos/piercings, in metal/emo scenes (though not a hard requirement), who are active, and not overly sensitive. I need to ask myself what more beyond that (and if I can attract those).