A Little Fatigued But Not Done
3 minute read
Following my previous advice, I told the chick that I had been texting:
sounds like you’re too busy to hang out. all the best
Reflecting a little on that, I would have previously clung on as long as she would let me and let my emotional rollercoaster sling me around silly. Shifting my mindset, I have to value my time and sanity. I have met, talked to, and gotten some numbers from cute girls within the past month. I know that I can do it, and hell if I stop being so nice, I could easily go farther. Baby steps – every day. I am doing great. I will be a good man; I do not care to be a nice man (i.e. bad boi).
I read this a post about being more aggressive. Although I am not ready at a level yet with ass-slapping (though I guess I did do that to the bisexual the other week), I realize (after this last chick) that I absolutely need to be more aggressive, especially when the girl is being responsive or submissive to me like she was. I drank a bit too much and also chicken-shitted out. If she is following me around, sitting next to me, waiting for me, letting me touch her hands, etc., then she is in to me. And if not, then being more aggressive would screen her out quicker and onto the next. I am going to make it a point to incorporate touch more into my nighttime, even if it is a handshake at first. Touch is touch. Hell, I love touch, too. With the increased attention that I received lately (maybe more than my whole life), I would be stupid to stop my progression. I enjoy touching everyone (dudes, chicks, friends, myself LOL), so why should I feel any different about it [within socially-calibrated reason]? Answer: I should not and will not.
I had a hell of a workout today and definitely feel tired from it (and shitty insomnia problems <– finally getting seen for the insomnia, but it is a slow process). I am getting to the point of being able to hold handstands, without moving, for a few seconds. I definitely feel strong when doing this, and I am easily a lot larger than most the skinny dudes at my gym, even though I am pretty short :) . My running is getting better, and I really enjoy it again. Instead of trying to run away from my problems (and my past), I have been making a point of running towards them (and my future).
I am going to nap, take a run, eat plenty but not too much, and go out with a buddy tonight. Hopefully, we will not find another toxic lesbian couple where one of them is violent. Tomorrow, I might have plans to bar hop with a different group that I hung out with last night. I give myself credit that I left early last night to sleep instead of staying out late on a Thursday. I definitely need to keep speaking and sticking to my needs.