How To Sell Myself
3 minute read
Keeping with an unwritten goal [so far] of mine, I have been going out most nights (goal: 5 evenings/nights per week). I went out to a dance lesson last night… I was very nervous, hesitant, and almost talked myself out of it again (like I did last week). But I have had a lot of positive reference experience lately with making friends and having a good time, so I forced myself out anyway. I am so happy that I went. I made another friend with the same name as me, and he also just went through a rough breakup. I have noticed a lot of the dudes out (recently) have all went through a bad breakup; I wonder again if that is normal, or if that is something that I somehow attract. :p
The traveling studio that put on the event almost always does free lessons at the beginning, which is wonderful and a great way to ease into this style of dancing. It is also a built-in way to just meet a ton of new women while touching, talking, and dancing with them. Everyone was super awesome aside from some awkward young chick and an old lady (and even then, they were not bad – just overly nervous or boring). I asked 3 girls for their numbers, and I got the whole “I’m only looking for friends thing” or “I am already in a relationship”. I appreciate their honesty at the least. However, I had a brilliant insight with one of them…
I have improved my appearance so far as looking more sexual (or at least more attractive), but HOW AM I PRESENTING my “social resume”? I realized this while one of the girls ran through a few interview-like questions while we were dancing: where do I live, what do I do, what are my hobbies, etc. I now realize she was leading the conversation and quickly evaluating whether I was interesting or not to her. I totally flubbed on this, BUT I needed this. Although it is difficult to lead a conversation while we were dancing, she was in control. And not to sound too cheesy, but she had the dominant/masculine frame while I was responding to her. She probably was interested, but since she led and asked the all the boring interview questions – what the hell else sets me apart from any other dude? Answer: not much, given my responses <– I know that is not true personally. I know that I have a lot to offer. And I also know that I need to get better at communicating that (and not being so damn humble, insecure, or aloof about it).